I miss...

(I'm really liking these posts that I can just write a list.)

• Free time.  You remember the days, don't you?  It was summer vacation and you were childless and you didn't have any obligations or anything to do.  I love just sitting with my scrapbooking stuff and creating or sitting on the couch vegging or wandering around the store looking for nothing in particular or staying up late and sleeping until you felt like getting up.
• Living near/with my friends.  I often need outfit advice and I miss having friends that live in the next room.  Our I'm watching The Bachelor and I need someone to talk to.
• Working out.  My body seems to fail me a lot lately; my shoulders hurt when I swim, my knee hurts when I run and so on.  I miss working up a sweat, pushing myself, and the great feeling I had when I was done.  Maybe yoga will be my answer, now I just need to find the time.
• Snugly babies.  Or I should say MY snugly babies.  One of my favorite parts of being a mom is napping with my tiny little baby.  The heavy weight on your chest, you just can't beat it.  Not to say you can't snuggle with a toddler, it is just more like holding a barn cat.

Me and E almost a week after she got home from the hospital.

An out of order response to writing most days in May.

Sell yourself in 10 words or less:

Passionate
Creative
Curious
Compassionate
Empathetic
Supportive
Planner
Analytical
Flexible
Patient

The Thing I'm Most Afraid of...

is losing those who are close to me.  About once I week I get this brief moment of panic when I think of losing one of my kids.  I just don't know what I would do and I really don't know how parents can move on after that.  I don't have anxiety or panic about them getting hurt or falling down but mostly as I tuck them in the thought flashes through my mind. 

Other than that deeper fear I also a really afraid of SNAKES!  I hate them.  Our new house has snakes and I'm already getting nervous for the warmer weather?  Any thoughts on how I can keep them out of our backyard?

**I'm running about a day behind, oops!

Favorite Quote

I love quotes, and words, and typography.  It is always nice to refer to someone else's words when you can't find the right ones.  So that being said I have a number of favorite quotes, or ones that speak to me. 

This first one I heard when I was in high school and I still love it.

Some other favorites that I try to remember about how to act.

And then a couple of quotes that describe me.

Uncomfortable.

Things that make me uncomfortable:

1. Awkward hugs and cheek kisses.  You know the kind, mostly the ones you aren't ready for, you're not standing in the right spot, or if you're a teacher to older children, the ones where their head hits in a bad spot and they go in for an unexpected front hug.  I'm not naturally a hugger so most of the time it is uncomfortable.
2. Confrontation.  I'm a typical middle child and I dislike conflict.  I don't like having to confront anyone... a co-worker, a store clerk, or the person who answers the customer service line.  I also get uncomfortable around other people conflict.  I have many friends who love the Real Housewives of ___________ but I just can't do it, to much fighting for me.
3. Perceived social awkwardness.  You know when you see someone, or hear someone start to say something that isn't right for the situation or the audience.  I get uncomfortable for them.  Maybe I'm too empathetic.
4. Running while anyone is watching.  Another good reason why I don't run anymore. 
5. Ending phone calls that aren't going anywhere... sorry mom.

Day One

I should read the directions before I decide to do something.  :-) 

A short paragraph about me:

I was born on a cold winter day, not really sure if it was cold but it was winter, to an amazing family I often refer to as the Cleaver's.  My mom stayed home with my older sister, younger brother and I.  My dad worked and spent a lot of time with us kids.  My older sister, by 18 months and I are very close but spent much of our childhood fighting.  My younger brother is 5 years younger and I have great memories of dressing him up like a girl.  I grew up in the water.  I started swimming when I was 8 and swam on a year round team until I was 18.  I loved it and still do.  I graduated from high school and attended our state college where I attempted to step out of my sister's shadow by joining a sorority.  It was great for me.  I'm not naturally outgoing, but it gave me a push to talk to more people and come out of my shell.  I met my husband the same semester and I pledged my sorority, and no he is not a frat boy.  :-)  I graduated and got my teaching license and then got engaged, got married, bought a house and got a dog.  Then a year later finally go my first teaching job.  Six years later, after 4 years of infertility, we welcomed our twins, S and E.  This summer we will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary. 

Everyday in May?

Is it too late to start blogging every day in May?  I have been on a hiatus, for no real reason just don't feel like it when I have the time.  But this is my memory.  Most days I can't even remember if I have brushed my teeth much less the funny thing S or E said.  So let's start there...

• In the last couple of weeks S has been telling me, "No go to work Mommy."  Ugh, breaks my heart.  He has been super snugly and a little clingy lately.  He just wants me close.  "Sit right here Mommy."  And my returns from work have been met with a big smile and the cutest, "Hi, Mommy." 
• I know they have done it before but S and E really are having the greatest conversations together and SO funny.  They're starting to ask each other questions, which I think has been the biggest change.  E will ask if S is okay, "You okay Sam?" and give him a hug if he is sad.  Unfortunately he often replies with a push for some space.**Update: Conversation heard in the car today (5/3):  E-"Chicken" S- "No chicken" E- "Chicken" S- "No chicken" E- "Chicken" S-
  "No chicken I don't see them."  E- "Chicken"
• I'm starting to hear more of those phrases that I must use a lot.  E the other day exclaimed to her doll, "Oh   my   goodness!"  Ha!  I found myself saying that a few times the next day at work.  She really is mimicking lately too, but not whole phrases, really just the ends.  Sometimes Mr. P and I will talk slow so she can repeat and we can giggle at what she says.
• We are developing a routine for morning good-byes.  First we do knuckles, then fives, then hugs and kisses.  Then sometimes it is repeated.  Then there are some "Love yous" and sometimes I'm instructed to hug MiMi (our nanny) or to give her fives.  (I'm not a hugger, so it would be awkward to hug the nanny goodbye.)  Then I'm usually told, by S, "No take my car."  Which means he doesn't want me to take the minivan, which is "his" car.  Silly boy.
• E has begun negotiating, which is funny because normally it doesn't matter.  She has begun asking for, "Just one more."  With her finger up.  "Just one more Mommy."  I think sometimes she is just making sure this is the last time or the last one she gets.  Most of the time we  haven't told her she was done and she is asking for one more.  She will say just one more time as she goes the slide for the last one before we go home and before she eats the last jellybean I've given her.  It is pretty cute though.

Two is such an entertaining age.  The things they come up with just kill me some days.