Tragedy

I didn't go to work today. I went shopping with my mom. I had a wonderful day thinking about Christmas and trying to find gifts that would bring joy to the recipient. We made it home, dragging, to my babies and Meg. Meg then asked, "Did you hear about the school today?" I got a lump in my throat. My thoughts immediately went to my class. Today we had our first lockdown drill... at 9:45. Luckily it wasn't my school.

As Meg went on to relay the event to me I could only think of what would that be like. How could this happen in an elementary school? I can't even imagine how that could happen. As a teacher I wonder if I could have stayed calm and thought clearly to lead my class to safety. Then I started to worry about my kids. Did they hear about what happened? Would their parents be able to calm their fears? Fears that usually surface during a lockdown drill? Fears that we normally explain with the small chance that something like this would ever happen, but it did today. Fears that we can't calm with details about exactly how we would react if someone were to show up in our building. Fears that all of those kids in that building will have for a long time, if not forever.

I think about the kindergartners in our building. They are innocent. They believe in Santa. They believe in the Elf on the Shelf. They draw pictures that have to be interpreted and stories that need a subtitle. They need help opening their milk and putting on their coats. They shouldn't have to worry about or see their classmates killed. They should not see their nightmares in real life.

Do I think we need to outlaw guns? No. Do I think teachers should carry guns? Definitely not. Do I think that we, as a society, need to do something different? Yes, but I can't say what that is. I do believe that the people behind this mass shootings are hurting. They may need mental health help that isn't covered by insurance or that isn't detected or properly treated. They may have experienced trauma that they weren't able to work through. Maybe they have not felt needed, loved or supported. Again I think of the 20 little-ish people in my room every day. It is my job to make sure those kids have what they need. If they don't get it at home, it is my job as a teacher to make sure they are loved, supported and heard. It is my job to make sure they receive the help they need. And it is my job to be their protector.

I found it on Pinterest...

So I was browsing the kids category on Pinterest waiting for my cookies to be done baking, instead of the million of other things I should be doing.  (Grading, cleaning, getting ready for company, sleeping...) And I came across this: How to Prepare for Twins.  Naturally I had to read it.  I was wondering what I should have done differently and if I agree with what you should do.  BUT it wasn't about preparing for twins once you find out you are already having them, but how to make sure you get pregnant with twins.  All I have to say is SERIOUSLY?  Get fat, eat cassava and talk about the desire to have twins and you'll be able to have them.  That is crazy talk. 

Miscellany Monday

 

• Why is that weekends are either fun or productive?  This past weekend wasn't really very fun, but I was finally able to get the floor clean, made applesauce, apple bread at ate at home every meal.  Gotta love Pinterest when you need to use up some apples.

• I think we are finally over the yucks at our house.  E got croup on Halloween and S and I have been battling it for the last week.  I only almost lost my voice on Saturday but I had a nice sore throat all last week.  No wonder E was so grumpy while she was sick.
• Someone broke my classroom window last Thursday night.  We have had a lot of graffiti and vandalism around my school for the last year or so.  It looks like a BB but luckily it didn't shatter the window, only put a hole in it.  I've felt like I'm teaching at night the last couple or days with the cardboard covering my only outside window.  Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow.
• I have a little drummer boy on my hands.  A couple of weeks ago Mr. P took S to the last high school football game.  (We had gone to most of the home games.)  This time S came back and would talk about football and immediately follow it with dum dum dumdum.  The boy LOVED the marching band.  We always sat behind the band because they are entertaining but this time it has really stuck with him.  We got a book from Chick-fil-a by Mercer Meyer that has...instruments in it.  He loves to look at the page where there is a drum set and a marching band.  I've been finding him drum YouTube videos and it is soo cute to see his reaction.  I too have a love of the marching band drums.  There's nothing that screams love football like a band.  Now I just need to get him to play his little drum to Little Drummer Boy.
• We listened to Christmas music tonight...I can't wait.
• Little girl is ATTACHED to my leg.  I don't know what to do.  She won't leave my side and most of the time she wants to be held.  It is exhausting. 
• S and E are into "helping" me cook.  As soon as I got the mixer out tonight they were dragging over chairs to stand on.  I tried to give them the job of taking the stems off of the spinach tonight... we need to work on that.  :-)  At least it kept them entertained for a while.



Today

What I want to remember about today:

1. Little E slept in our room last night, she has croup. I was nervous to have her so far away and being sick without a monitor on. I wanted to be there if she had a coughing fit, cried after she coughed or woke up and needed comforting. I thought she'd be up around 4 am when her last round of ibprophen wore off but she didn't wake up until I had to move the pack-n-play so I could get some socks.
2. E wanted to eat this morning! Hooray. Who cares if she just ate Jello and a few bites of a banana. (I'm pretty sure all she ate today was: the Jello, banana, a cookie, a smoothie pouch, some grapes, a couple of OtterPops, and two mini packages of M&Ms.)
3. How great our babysitter, Meg, is. She offered to watch the kids today even though E is sick. The kids LOVE her.
4. A text from Meg today that reads, "S decided he wants to go on the potty today so he has a pair of pull-ups on and runs to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Ha!" When I got home and went to the bathroom he came in and he wanted his diaper and pants off so he could sit on the potty. Silly Boy!
5. After texting Meg back and forth I got nervous about how E was acting and not eating or drinking, when I went down to talk to the school nurse the first thing my principal asked was if I needed to leave. This was after my teaching partner asked me if I needed to do something and he'd watch the kids. It is great to have such a supportive and understanding workplace.
6. Pride for my 5th graders. They have been really working hard on a region project where they are working in groups of 3 or 4 to make an iMovie. They have done an AMAZING job. I had my doubts but they proved me wrong. They worked great in groups and were able to make great videos. We might need to work on the content but they did a good job. So proud of them!
7. Being able to go out with friends for a drink (of Diet Coke tonight) and good conversation. I sure miss my old co-workers.
8. A smiley boy opening the door to the garage door saying, "Mama!" What a great greeting.
9. Snuggles with my sick little girl. I love that she wanted to be held when I got home. I also love that S was able to get his socks and find one shoe and bring them to me while I held his sister. It is amazing how much they understand these days.
10. That the first thing S said when he got home from the football game with his dad was his sister's name.  I love that he thinks about his sister when she isn't around.

Miscellany Monday

Not linking up but posting with Carissa at lowercase letters:

 

1. At swimming lessons today E was a crazy girl.  We took last week off because we were at the zoo and I think she has refound her love of swimming.  My little crazy fish kept trying to join the older kids, she jumped and jumped like the swim club kids doing dry land training and she did one mean version of "If You're Happy and You Know It".

 

2.  My poor furry first born, Maddy, has been to the vet twice in the last month.  She is on her second round of antibiotics.  Hopefully she feels better for her birthday on Wednesday.  Little Girl will be 9 years old.  She LOVES Halloween.  I just need to dig out her costume.  

Last Year

3.  This year I attempted to make costumes for S and E.  I have a hard time buying something for one day, and not really finding something I liked.  Last year we got a dog costume from the second-hand store and a skunk from a friend.  This year the kids will be gnomes.  We did a trial run on Saturday and the kids did a great job.  E's costume needs a little bit more decoration though.  They both kept their hats on and E enjoyed the extra attention.  Now we just have to figure out what we're going to DO for Halloween.  Do you take almost 2 year olds Trick-or-Treating?  I know WE don't need the candy.

 

4.  Is it bad that I drink a cup of caffeinated tea at 8 pm so I can make it until 10 pm awake? 

 

5.  S is on a roll with his words lately.  Tonight he was talking about the frog (the slide at the pool looks like a frog), his socks, and new in the last week or so is eat.  I think the boy wants to eat all day now that he can tell you about it.  He is constantly bossing the dog around too.  "Maddy sit."  "Maddy down."  "No Maddy No"  Someday she might realize he is talking to her. 



First Born

This is me and my first born.  (Sorry for the extreme close-up.  It was the best I could do tonight.)  We had been married less than 6 months and had barely lived in our new house for a month when I found her.  The backyard was begging for a dog and I was lonely. 

She was an eight week old puppy who had been surrendered at the humane society where my sister was working.  They didn't think she's pass the temperament test.  She was possession aggressive.  My sister wouldn't let me see her until she had passed. 

She did and she became my LBG, little baby girl.  She was nameless for a few days.  My husband wanted to name her Dizzle and I just couldn't let him do it.  One great attempt at convincing him I said, "Do you want to be a 30 year old yelling for your dog named Dizzle?"  He reminded me when he was 30 that he would have been just fine yelling for a dog named Dizzle.  At any rate she is Maddy. 

Maddy has been a spoiled dog for most of her life.  She got a lot of attention and went on a lot of walks, and runs during the 3 years I pretended to be a runner.  She slept on couches and sat in my lap without any competition.  She got to go for rides in the car and was chased around the house.  She got to sleep on the bed. 

She has always been my "brown shadow".  She is a mama's girl.  I often trip over her because she is always there.  She has been my crying buddy when we couldn't get pregnant.  She was my baby when I couldn't have my own.  She was/is my wintertime companion when my husband is gone most evenings coaching basketball.  She slept next to me during most of my three day bed rest after IVF.  She was the one thing I missed when I was stuck in the hospital on bed rest.  I cried into her fur when I came home baby less. 

She has done great with S and E, as I expected she would.  But she is getting older and grumpy.  The hardest part is everyone wants to be near me.  The kids want to be on my lap and Maddy wants to be right next to me, but she doesn't want the kids to touch her.  I think having two toddlers around has aged my little baby girl.  She will be 10 at the end of October.  (We picked Halloween to be her birthday because it is her favorite holiday.  She LOVES the little kids who come to the door.) 

We still see glimpses of the crazy Maddy she used to be.  Tonight she found a green tennis ball.  (Poor girl, all her toys are still packed away.)  She ran around the house like an 8 week old puppy.  Silly dog.  The kids thought it was hilarious and were a little bit afraid she was going to knock them over.  She'd run into the family room and back through the kitchen into the playroom and back again.  It was so funny.  I tried to get S and E to chase her but they weren't so sure about that.  They did get to throw the ball and she bounded after it.  I hope as the kids get older they get to play with Maddy.  She does love to be chased and does a great job of dropping the ball.  I hope they love her as much as I do.

I sit her typing while she lays next to me on the rug...always my brown shadow.

Time Out

Since E turned 18 months we have been trying timeout to help with her hitting. When she gets mad or frustrated she just reaches out and whacks someone or anything that is nearby. Unfortunately it is usually S. S is so easy going to he rarely reacts anymore, unless she happens to have something in her hand when she hits. I hate that S cowers when she raises her hand and that he so easily gives up what he has to her. She still sometimes hits me but that is becoming less frequent.

When we first started timeouts I had to physically hold her in the chair. She wouldn't stay and would try to squirm away. Now she sits in the timeout chair and talks to herself. From what I gather it sounds like she is telling the story about what happened and why she is there. Most of the time there is a lot of babble and then a "no, no". (I really should get it on video... it is pretty cute even though she is in trouble.)

I'm not sure timeout is really working. I know she needs to learn other ways to get rid of her frustration and since she is not REALLY verbal, like S, she doesn't really have the words yet. I know the timeouts are designed to help her regulate her emotions and to calm herself down. I like that it also makes it so she doesn't get what she wants when she is hitting S. I also know that this is likely a stage and she will grow out of it. I sure hope it is a stage...

We have tried redirection. We have tried telling her no and redirection, but she can be very difficult to redirect once she has her mind on something.

We have definitely moved to the parenting stage and it is hard to know if what you are doing is "right".  Tonight we had friends over for dinner, while both our husbands are away at outdoor ed.  She has two little girls.  One is five days younger than S and E and the other is five.  E started out with two timeouts for hitting almost right away.  After that she didn't have any trouble.  I have noticed that when she is hungry she has shorter fuse, if I want to call it that.  She is quicker to hit.  Most days I feel like it is getting better but I just wish it would go away completely.

Next we need to work on S and his throwing of EVERYTHING.