I wish I knew...

that the menopur disappears instantaneously when you add liquid. Tonight was the first night for Follistim and Menopur. I got the Follistim pen working and it took a while but that went great. I went to mix up the Menopur and did okay but just put in a couple of drops of the solvent (can't remember what it is) and then was freaked out because I didn't see any of the white stuff. Well, then I thought I was a little crazy. I knew I had just opened the bottle and I think something was in there. So just to be safe I paid more attention and tried again. So... I'm out one vial of Menopur. Maybe I won't need it. We did go through the steps of mixing the meds yesterday but didn't actually use the real stuff. I think it would have been good to do it for real. I unfortunately learn best by doing. :-) I'm sure I'll be an expert soon.

The journey so far...

Well it has been 8 days since my first Lupron injection. I stopped taking BCP on Sunday and am very impatiently waiting on the monthly visitor to make some sort of appearance, yesterday. I'm a little worried because I left out my Lupron the first day of my injections. I realized it as I went to bed that night. Had a little bit of a meltdown. Starting meds on the 3rd to last day of school doesn't go so well. Well luckily it really wasn't a big deal. I did have to order a new vial though.

Tomorrow I have bloodwork, an ultrasound and instructions on Menopur and Follistim. I'm a little worried about what will become of my stomach once I start shots 3 times a day. I already am collecting a nice line of bruises in various colors. Is that going to get worse? I'm guessing yes. I also love that all my jeans land right on the line of bruises. Not very comfortable. I think I will be living in my workout pants for the 2 1/2 weeks.

So far so good though. I'm starting to feel a little anxious. I think not having a normal routine is making that worse. I have been taking an independent study class. So I've spent 8 hours a day working in my room, alone. That gives me a little too much time to think about things.

As expected...

I didn't get pregnant on the last ditch effort IUI before we start IVF this month. And it always seems like there is pregnancy every where on the day I find out I'm not. Go figure it was even the "5 0'clock phone call" on the local radio station. Something about hormonal pregnancy rants, or something.

Oh well, still waiting on the monthly visitor and then we can get started.

Waiting

I am constantly surprised about how little moms know about how to get pregnant... those who didn't have trouble any way. I guess there are just a few of us who are forced to learn more about hormones and timing and waiting than the others. I have a couple of friends at work who I've told about what is going on and they both asked, "When will you know?" I guess I've lost the difference between general everyone knowledge and just "infertile" knowledge. I thought that if you've been pregnant and have had a couple of kids you would know that fertilization (hopefully) occurs on day 14 and you have to wait about 2 weeks before you know if you are indeed pregnant.
The waiting really is the hardest part. My waiting to find out will end sometime in the next couple of days for me. I then will learn if I can plan for a New Year's baby or move on to the next big, EXPENSIVE step. Over the last couple of weeks I have analyzed everything I've done. Should I workout? If so can I lift? Should I avoid my Bootcamp class? How about running? What should I eat? Do I need to avoid all caffeine? Or just limit it? What about alcohol? Is one drink okay or nothing at all? The most frustrating part is that there aren't any clear answers. I just want someone to tell me what I can and cannot do.
I'm hoping for the best... my mom could be a soon-to-be-grandmother on Mother's Day and I think that might be the best Mother's Day gift there is. I am also preparing for the worst... I sent an e-mail to the acupuncturist that I'm hoping to see during the IVF cycle and hopefully I'll be able to get in sometime next week.
I'll just keep waiting.... but not patiently.