Easter

Growing up we attended church sporadically. My siblings and I were active in sports...mostly swimming and so we spent many, many weekends away at meets. My parents weren't really religious but passed on traditional "Christian" values. Other words they taught us to be good, kind members of society.

Fast forward about 10 years... I met my husband in college. Well that is not entirely true. We met online, AOL Instant Messenger to be exact. You know, back in the day, when you could search for people. Anyway, we "talked" and we found that we had similar values. The funny thing is that our church backgrounds are very different. You see, my husband grew up Mormon. His parents are still practicing and so is one of his other 3 siblings. He hasn't attended church since he left home.

During our time before kids (12 years...wow, I hadn't thought it about that way before) we talked a lot about raising our kids in a church. We both like the sense of community and the values that are taught and hopefully modeled. Also, it never hurts to surround them with other families who think the same way. That being said, neither one of us really is into going to church or becoming very involved.

After I left home my parents became more active in churches. My dad even worked for one once he retired. They, of course, would love for us to attend and belong to one. After they moved up to our town last fall they have been church shopping and recently have found one that fits what they are looking for. We have attended twice with them. (Neither time has gone well for little girl, bawling both times when we picked them up. Service times don't really work well with our nap/eating schedules.) The hardest part about coming from different church backgrounds is that what feels "normal" to my husband and I is completely different. Guitars and modern music not so normal for the husband. BUT he does really like the pastor at my parents new church.

So all this is a lot of background about church today. I find that I cry frequently at church. Something just gets to me. (In the past it has been about Mother's Day, no fun.) Today they had a video clip of a couple at the church who happen to be in the church band. They spoke about their twin boys who were in the NICU and how they looked to God during that hard time. I felt like it was directed to me. Then they sang this song:



Cue the tears...
"Oh, my baby, when you're older
Maybe then you'll understand
You have angels to dance around your shoulders
'Cause at times in life you need a helping hand"

There are certain times in my life when I did look to a higher power. I had to let all of it go, let someone else be in control. That was hard for me when all I wanted was a baby. Or when all I wanted was to stay pregnant for a little longer. I couldn't do anything about it so I didn't worry. Laying in the hospital with my water broken at 32 weeks pregnant, I just let it go. What would be, would be. Waiting, for those almost 8 horrible weeks for S to come home... ugh. I often feel like my babies are a gift from God. I know, I know...but they are a blessing. And I know they have someone looking out for them.

Just Thoughts...

After awhile of struggling with infertility I started to hear about friends and acquaintances that had miscarriages. I've always thought that it was better to be a never than a was. I can't imagine the pain and heartbreak that a miscarriage would cause. To have your hopes and dreams and future being planned and then taken from you. Heartbreaking.

I have 3 high school friends, that I know of, that have lost babies. No, not due to a miscarriage but shortly after they were born. The most recent, a 3 week old to apendicitis. I haven't talked to her since high school but from what I know this little boy was not an accident but an answer to prayers. Prayers 3 years in the making. My heart aches for her. I cannot imagine the grief that she feels. To have, and to have held and cared for and loved this little boy and all that he was to become... ugh. Heartwrenching.

I read stories (they're all over on blogs) and I just cry. Being a mother I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, at any age.

I'm so thankful to have these two beautiful, spunky, funny little people. I am constantly reminded how lucky I am.

Sugar and Spice

Having a little girl is a wonderful thing, but I never imagined myself a mom to a daughter. When I found out I was pregnant with twins I was sure that I was going to have boys. Growing up I always imagined having boys. I always thought it would be wonderful to have boys and girls but I didn't think it would happen. I've never been a girly girl. I never really played with dolls, more stuffed animals. I never wore make-up until I went to college. (Even now I'm good if I manage to put on mascara before I leave the house.) Sometimes I'm more comfortable in a group of men rather than women.

And have you noticed all the things that can be done with a little girls hair?

(from http://www.grosgrainfabulous.com/search?updated-max=2011-05-31T10%3A23%3A00-04%3A00&max-results=20)

This makes my heart beat faster and my palms get sweaty. I've NEVER been able to braid. I really tried when I was younger but pretty much gave up. How am I ever going to be able to do a cute little hair do on my little girl? I guess I need to start practicing.

Weekend Morning Breakfast

Growing up my mom would make us cottage cheese pancakes. I know, gross right? Well, no, they are actually really good and good for you. I guess we were typical kid eaters and she was always looking for a way to get us to eat more protein. Now that my kids are at that age we have been looking for ways to give them more protein too.

I tell ya, these things are LOVED at my house. S and E ate a combined 8, last Sunday. Yes, my 14 month old twins ate 8 pancakes. Granted these aren't as big as normal pancakes and are lighter too but still, you can't cut them up fast enough. They are light and creamy and great with applesauce or with bananas mixed in.

I recently inherited the recipe book that they came from complete with magazine clippings from my mom. The book is called Feed Me I'm Yours and I guess it is still in print.

So funny...

Spring Rocks!

It feels like spring in my neck of the woods. I know we can expect a huge snow storm at any time, but for now I'm sure enjoying the 70 degree weather. S and E are enjoying it too.

After an at least 3 month long hiatus from the outdoor world they are rediscovering nature. S now cries if you try to go outside without him. He will try to crawl out the sliding glass door when I let the dog out. He is an deck loving almost 14 month old. E on the other hand likes to go outside but isn't as adamant as her brother.

They have also discovered rocks. I should have known that toddlers love rocks, being an elementary school teacher and even 5th graders love rocks. Last week we sat next to the driveway and played with the rocks for at least 15 minutes. S rolled them down the driveway, banged them together, and tasted them. E, being the little girl that she is, just picked them up and put them down.

I foresee many warms days sitting in the rocks. As long as they don't hit each other with them or throw them at each other I will be happy to sit there.

(We've also dusted off our wonderful jogging stroller for some walks!)

Wow... long break

I just recently refound this missing blog. I couldn't remember my URL and definetely couldn't remember the password. I have been feeling like I'm censoring what I'm writing on my "family" blog and I felt like I needed a place to write freely. All of this happens to be why I started this blog in the first place.

Here is a quick update of the last almost 2 years:
I got pregnant... with twins.
A boy and a girl
They were born 6.5 weeks early (E's water broke, I then went on hospital bedrest for about a week and then I developed pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.)
Little girl, E, was in the NICU for about 3 weeks.
Little boy, S, was in for almost 8.
They are now almost 14 months old and doing wonderfully.

I LOVE LOVE being a mom. I still have to work, full time, but I'm so happy when I come home and I have two of the best distractions. They are silly, silly people at this age. Babbling and SCREAMING, but oh so fun.